Why doesn't my baby want to be carried?
Do you have the feeling that your baby doesn't want to be carried? Everyday life with a baby is exhausting so the idea of wearing your baby and having your hands free at the same time still sticks with you. We'll give you tips on how to make it work. First things first: some things take time and it's worth giving it another try.
All our babies are carried
Without carrying them, it would not be possible to transport our little ones. The many short distances, from the car to the pram or from the living room to the bedroom - we all carry our babies. After feeding or to calm them down, we swing them and walk around the room, automatically, with baby in our arms.
It is anchored in our human DNA that babies are not left behind. How else would our ancestors have been protected from the cold and danger? There it is again: "The human infant is a carried baby ", as behavioural biologist Dr Evelin Kirkilionis explains.
How can I help my baby enjoy a baby carrier or in a wrap?
Carrying a baby in a baby carrier or in a wrap is a new skill for many parents and baby, and it can take some time and practice.
For a good and relaxed start, pay attention to the following:
- Choose a time when your baby is well-rested and relaxed
- Make sure your baby is well fed
- Check that the nappy is clean
- Wear comfortable clothes
- Take enough time
Give yourself and your baby time to adjust to the new situation
Time is a particularly important factor - and not just when it comes to babywearing. We live in a fast-moving world and are used to switching quickly from one situation to the next. We prepare ourselves mentally and know what to expect.
Our babies live here and now. They cannot foresee consequences or make decisions independently. We often take them out of their situation spontaneously without them knowing what will happen next. It can feel a bit like being woken from sleep and having to leave straight away. So it's understandable when a baby gets restless and starts to cry.
What should I do if my child cries when I put the baby carrier on?
If you’ve gone through the babywearing checklists and everything is ok, then take the time to settle. Children often need about two minutes for this.
This can be quite a long time, but as parents we can see the goal, stay calm, and enjoy it at the end. We can pause during the tying-on process, gently swing our child, walk around, or sing. If we remain relaxed, our children will realise that everything is okay.
Babies learn by reflecting and are sensitive to the world around them; they sense our tension when we become unsure and keep changing the already new situation. This makes a baby insecure.
Tips for the start of the babywearing period
If you have tried a few things and still can't work it out, then get help. There are other reasons, such as blockages, that can make it difficult for you to start wearing your baby. Even then, there is almost always a solution.
In our video tutorials, we show you step by step how to put on a baby sling or baby carrier. Try out the carrier system that suits you best and use our baby carrier advisor. If you have any questions, please give us a call, or write to us. Our team of babywearing advisors will be happy to help you.
A babywearing consultation in your area is also a good idea - here you will receive a detailed explanation on using your carrier and you can practise putting it on together. You can try out different carrying systems and find the right way to carry your baby, even if you have special needs.
If it still doesn't work and you have the feeling that your baby has an issue or is in pain when wearing, we strongly recommend that you have this checked out by a doctor.
With a little patience, practice, and support, you will find the right solution. Sometimes it is also helpful to take a break and try again after 14 days.
We wish you a wonderful babywearing journey and invite you to become part of our babywearing community, where beginners and advanced babywearing enthusiasts can exchange ideas and find support!
This Blog post is by Christina Riffi